Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
