Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
