That's intense
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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