So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
