i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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