my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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