Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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