Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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