Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
