Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize