Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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