No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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