her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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