I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
