I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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