3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
