Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
