I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize