I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
He has the fingertips of a God
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