Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
