You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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