its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
