remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
