Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
