I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
