i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
