I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize