That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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