You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
