I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
