I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
