You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize