PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
