Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
