fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
