But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
