As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
