She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she told me i tasted like america
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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