All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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