i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize