road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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