It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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