yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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