Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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