good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize