And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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