what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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