Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
