oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
