Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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