Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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