3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
