I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
