She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
