you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he fucked my hip out of place.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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