Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
