Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
