I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize