i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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