I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
