how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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