Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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