I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
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