I'm really into asian looking animals
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
