If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
