haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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